Fathers are no less Important than mothers in a child’s life.

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Children, equal parenting, parenting, Research, shared parenting

I recently spent some time looking at research both here in the UK and over in America that clearly demonstrates the important influences and positive roles they play in the lives of their children.         

Fathers are no less important than mothers in a child’s life. ^{(Layard, 2009)}

The relationship between a father and his child is a special one for which there is no substitute. Most fathers and children know this intuitively, but much recent research has provided confirmation.

Children brought up with two parents enjoy an increased richness of care, a wider family of grand-parents, aunts and uncles, a network of community organisations such as synagogues, mosques and churches, and a richer and more complete personal history.

Outside the Family Courts fathers are sharing much more of the parenting load than hitherto. More fathers are their children’s ‘primary carers’ or share significantly in the primary caring role.^{[ (Lewis, 2000)1]} A 2007 study by the Equal Opportunities Commission showed that mothers were looking after their children for 2 hours and 32 minutes each day while fathers were doing so for 2 hours and 16 minutes.^{[2 (Commission, 2007)]} It is high time that decisions made in the courts reflected this reality.

One of the most significant influences a father contributes is in the quality of his relationship with his child’s mother. A mother who is loved and affirmed will be more responsive, affectionate and

confident; her children will be more respectful of others and less anxious, withdrawn, or anti-social.^{[ (Gable, 2007)3]} The presence of a father during pregnancy will reduce maternal stress and result in higher birth weights. Fathers help mothers keep the house clean and in good repair, care for the children, pay bills, take decisions; mothers seem to gain the most security when they are married and know the father is committed to a lifelong relationship to her and their child. ^{[ (Pleck, 1984)4]}   Today, most families rely upon the incomes of both mothers and fathers. However, fathers still provide the lion’s share of income. Fathers are either the sole earners or the main earners in two-thirds of two-parent households. Moreover, fathers’ earnings are uniquely linked to many positive results for children, even when mothers’ earnings are taken into consideration. ^{[ (Burghes, 1997) (Amato P. , 1998)5]}

 

Fathers and Babies:

Evidence shows that fathers involved in feeding and nappy-changing early are less likely to sexually abuse their children;^{[ (Pruett, 2000)6]} fathers need time to get to know their new-borns and to understand them so that they can respond sensitively and appropriately to their needs^{[ (Lamb M. , 1997)7]} Babies also form attachments to their fathers, who tend to be just as responsive to their babies’ bids for attention as mothers.^[8 (Cox)] , infants form these close attachments to their fathers (bonding) as readily and deeply, and at the same time as to their mothers.^{[ (Lamb M. , 1977)9]} Babies with secure attachments to their parents are more likely to grow into happy and well-adjusted children and adults^{[10 (De Wolff, 1997,)]}

Fathers and Small Children:

Fathers spend a larger proportion of their time playing with their young children than mothers do, and they tend to be more boisterous and active in their play. Most children enjoy this kind of play.^{[11 (Bronstein, 1984)]}Even if their fathers spend less time with them than their mothers, fathers become salient, or meaningful and special, to their children through play,^{[12 (Lamb M. F., 1982)]}this helps children’s brains to develop normally and has been shown to boost IQ.^{[ (Nugent J. , 1991)13]}

Through rough-and-tumble play fathers enable children to explore their strength and their boundaries, 88 they play a key role in developing children’s confidence and self-esteem; ^{[14 (Radin, Primary caregiving fathers in intact families, and The influence of fathers, Social Work in Education, 1994 and 1986 )]}they challenge their children, which results in higher cognitive scores ^{[15] (Biller, 1993)} and encourage the development of new skills and learning to take responsibility. When two-and-a-half-year-olds want to play, more than two thirds of the time they will choose their father over their mother.^{[1 (Clarke-Stewart, 1978)6]}   They provide role models.

Toddlers with involved fathers go on to start school with higher levels of academic readiness. They are more patient and can handle the stresses and frustrations associated with schooling more readily than children with less involved fathers.^{[17 (Pruett, 2000)]}

 

Fathers and School-Age Children:

Children who have good relationships with their fathers are less likely to experience depression, to exhibit disruptive behaviour or to lie and are more likely to exhibit altruistic behaviour.^{[18 (Parke, 1996)]}   Children who are brought up with their fathers are more likely to have good physical and emotional health, to achieve academically, and to avoid drugs, violence, and delinquency^{[19 (Horn, 2002) ]} 

A 2002 Government report declared^{[20 (Skills, 2002)]},

Fathers play an extremely important role in their children’s lives and a plethora of research indicates that father involvement is significantly related to positive child outcomes. A father’s interest in a child’s schooling is strongly linked to educational outcomes for the child. Fathers who devote time to their sons are giving them a greater chance to grow up as confident adults. Boys who feel that their fathers devote time, especially to talk to them about their worries, school work and social lives, almost all emerge as motivated and optimistic men. Father involvement in children’s education at age 7 predicts higher educational attainment by age 20 in both boys and girls.

One reason that fathers have such an influential role at this time is because they tend to challenge their children to try new experiences and to become more independent. Challenged children have more opportunity to develop problem-solving skills. Children whose fathers expected them to handle responsibilities, such as carrying scissors, crossing the street, or taking a bath alone, scored higher in tests of thinking skills.^{[21 (Clarke-Stewart, 1978)]}  Accomplishing tasks at this age is so important, and fathers’ involvement is so crucial, that fathers have a larger influence on their children’s self-esteem at this age than do mothers. ^{[22 (Amato P. , 1986)]}.  The more actively involved and interested a father is in his children’s care and education, the more intellectually developed his children are^{[23 (Radin, ‘Primary caregiving fathers; The influence of fathers, 1994; 1986) (Nugent, 1991)]}

 

Fathers and Teenagers:

Adolescents of both sexes from fatherless families engage in greater and earlier sexual activity^{[24 (Carol W. Metzler, 1994) ]} Children of lone parents are twice as likely to have mental health problems,^{[25 (Meltzer, 2000)]}  Children of lone parents are twice as likely  to smoke, drink heavily or take drugs^{[26 (Sweeting, 1998)]} and Britain has the highest level of self-harming in Europe.^{[27 (Catherine McLoughlin, 2006)]}

Teenagers rely more upon their fathers for conversation, advice, and just ‘being there’^{[28 (Catan, 1997)]} Adolescents who felt their fathers were ‘available’ to them had fewer conflicts with their friends.^{[29 (Lieberman, 1999)]}  Low father involvement with adolescents is associated with emotional over-control, depression, anxiety and low self-esteem^{[30 (Patton, 2001)]}  Father involvement is especially important for the well-being of teenage boys who regularly experience bullying, or when mother involvement is low.^{[31 (Flouri, 2005)]}  Long-term benefits of father-involvement during teenage years included women who had better relationships with partners and a greater sense of mental and physical well-being at the age of 33 if they had a good relationship with their father at 16^{[32 (Sarkadi et al, 2008)]}  

The Changing Role of Fathers:

There was a 200 per cent increase in the time that fathers are actively engaging with children between 1974 and 2000.

Fathers’ interest and involvement in their children’s education and learning result in better educational outcomes.

Of teenage fathers, 22 per cent themselves had teenage mothers, compared with only 13 per cent who had children at a later age.

Lone fathers account for only about 10 per cent of lone parents and 2 per cent of all families with dependent children.

Lone fathers are more likely to have been married or widowed than lone mothers.

Children’s levels of contact with non-resident fathers are closely related to background characteristics such as socio-economic status, and life course decisions such a remarriage and the time since parental separation. The proportion of fathers taking paternity leave exclusively was 50 per cent, and a further 30 per cent incorporate additional leave entitlement in 2006. ^{(Hunt, 2009)[33]}

“It is becoming increasingly evident that the expectations that fathers have of the way and amount they are involved directly with their children is altering. Fathers want to spend more time with their children, and are doing more of the direct care for them.” ^{(School, 2010)[34]}

British fathers now undertake approximately nearly half of all childcare; According to a 2007 EOC study, mothers recorded an average of 2 hours 32 minutes per day looking after their own children, compared with 2 hours 16 minutes by fathers. ^{(EOC, 2007)[35]}

 

“Most children hate the loss of contact with their fathers and often experience substantial distress, anger or self-doubt as a result.”^{[36 (Layard R. D.)]}

Children brought up with two parents enjoy an increased richness of care, a wider family of grand-parents, aunts and uncles, a network of community organisations such as synagogues, mosques and churches, and a richer and more complete personal history.

Outside the Family Courts fathers are sharing much more of the parenting load than hitherto. More fathers are their children’s ‘primary carers’ or share significantly in the primary caring role.^{[ (Lewis, 2000)1]} A 2007 study by the Equal Opportunities Commission showed that mothers were looking after their children for 2 hours and 32 minutes each day while fathers were doing so for 2 hours and 16 minutes.^{[2 (Commission, 2007)]} It is high time that decisions made in the courts reflected this reality.

One of the most significant influences a father contributes is in the quality of his relationship with his child’s mother. A mother who is loved and affirmed will be more responsive, affectionate and

confident; her children will be more respectful of others and less anxious, withdrawn, or anti-social.^{[ (Gable, 2007)3]} The presence of a father during pregnancy will reduce maternal stress and result in higher birth weights. Fathers help mothers keep the house clean and in good repair, care for the children, pay bills, take decisions; mothers seem to gain the most security when they are married and know the father is committed to a lifelong relationship to her and their child. ^{[ (Pleck, 1984)4]}   Today, most families rely upon the incomes of both mothers and fathers. However, fathers still provide the lion’s share of income. Fathers are either the sole earners or the main earners in two-thirds of two-parent households. Moreover, fathers’ earnings are uniquely linked to many positive results for children, even when mothers’ earnings are taken into consideration. ^{[ (Burghes, 1997) (Amato P. , 1998)5]}

 

Fathers and Babies:

Evidence shows that fathers involved in feeding and nappy-changing early are less likely to sexually abuse their children;^{[ (Pruett, 2000)6]} fathers need time to get to know their new-borns and to understand them so that they can respond sensitively and appropriately to their needs^{[ (Lamb M. , 1997)7]} Babies also form attachments to their fathers, who tend to be just as responsive to their babies’ bids for attention as mothers.^[8 (Cox)] , infants form these close attachments to their fathers (bonding) as readily and deeply, and at the same time as to their mothers.^{[ (Lamb M. , 1977)9]} Babies with secure attachments to their parents are more likely to grow into happy and well-adjusted children and adults^{[10 (De Wolff, 1997,)]}

Fathers and Small Children:

Fathers spend a larger proportion of their time playing with their young children than mothers do, and they tend to be more boisterous and active in their play. Most children enjoy this kind of play.^{[11 (Bronstein, 1984)]}Even if their fathers spend less time with them than their mothers, fathers become salient, or meaningful and special, to their children through play,^{[12 (Lamb M. F., 1982)]}this helps children’s brains to develop normally and has been shown to boost IQ.^{[ (Nugent J. , 1991)13]}

Through rough-and-tumble play fathers enable children to explore their strength and their boundaries, 88 they play a key role in developing children’s confidence and self-esteem; ^{[14 (Radin, Primary caregiving fathers in intact families, and The influence of fathers, Social Work in Education, 1994 and 1986 )]}they challenge their children, which results in higher cognitive scores ^{[15] (Biller, 1993)} and encourage the development of new skills and learning to take responsibility. When two-and-a-half-year-olds want to play, more than two thirds of the time they will choose their father over their mother.^{[1 (Clarke-Stewart, 1978)6]}   They provide role models.

Toddlers with involved fathers go on to start school with higher levels of academic readiness. They are more patient and can handle the stresses and frustrations associated with schooling more readily than children with less involved fathers.^{[17 (Pruett, 2000)]}

 

Fathers and School-Age Children:

Children who have good relationships with their fathers are less likely to experience depression, to exhibit disruptive behaviour or to lie and are more likely to exhibit altruistic behaviour.^{[18 (Parke, 1996)]}   Children who are brought up with their fathers are more likely to have good physical and emotional health, to achieve academically, and to avoid drugs, violence, and delinquency^{[19 (Horn, 2002) ]} 

A 2002 Government report declared^{[20 (Skills, 2002)]},

Fathers play an extremely important role in their children’s lives and a plethora of research indicates that father involvement is significantly related to positive child outcomes. A father’s interest in a child’s schooling is strongly linked to educational outcomes for the child. Fathers who devote time to their sons are giving them a greater chance to grow up as confident adults. Boys who feel that their fathers devote time, especially to talk to them about their worries, school work and social lives, almost all emerge as motivated and optimistic men. Father involvement in children’s education at age 7 predicts higher educational attainment by age 20 in both boys and girls.

One reason that fathers have such an influential role at this time is because they tend to challenge their children to try new experiences and to become more independent. Challenged children have more opportunity to develop problem-solving skills. Children whose fathers expected them to handle responsibilities, such as carrying scissors, crossing the street, or taking a bath alone, scored higher in tests of thinking skills.^{[21 (Clarke-Stewart, 1978)]}  Accomplishing tasks at this age is so important, and fathers’ involvement is so crucial, that fathers have a larger influence on their children’s self-esteem at this age than do mothers. ^{[22 (Amato P. , 1986)]}.  The more actively involved and interested a father is in his children’s care and education, the more intellectually developed his children are^{[23 (Radin, ‘Primary caregiving fathers; The influence of fathers, 1994; 1986) (Nugent, 1991)]}

 

Fathers and Teenagers:

Adolescents of both sexes from fatherless families engage in greater and earlier sexual activity^{[24 (Carol W. Metzler, 1994) ]} Children of lone parents are twice as likely to have mental health problems,^{[25 (Meltzer, 2000)]}  Children of lone parents are twice as likely  to smoke, drink heavily or take drugs^{[26 (Sweeting, 1998)]} and Britain has the highest level of self-harming in Europe.^{[27 (Catherine McLoughlin, 2006)]}

Teenagers rely more upon their fathers for conversation, advice, and just ‘being there’^{[28 (Catan, 1997)]} Adolescents who felt their fathers were ‘available’ to them had fewer conflicts with their friends.^{[29 (Lieberman, 1999)]}  Low father involvement with adolescents is associated with emotional over-control, depression, anxiety and low self-esteem^{[30 (Patton, 2001)]}  Father involvement is especially important for the well-being of teenage boys who regularly experience bullying, or when mother involvement is low.^{[31 (Flouri, 2005)]}  Long-term benefits of father-involvement during teenage years included women who had better relationships with partners and a greater sense of mental and physical well-being at the age of 33 if they had a good relationship with their father at 16^{[32 (Sarkadi et al, 2008)]}  

The Changing Role of Fathers:

There was a 200 per cent increase in the time that fathers are actively engaging with children between 1974 and 2000.

Fathers’ interest and involvement in their children’s education and learning result in better educational outcomes.

Of teenage fathers, 22 per cent themselves had teenage mothers, compared with only 13 per cent who had children at a later age.

Lone fathers account for only about 10 per cent of lone parents and 2 per cent of all families with dependent children.

Lone fathers are more likely to have been married or widowed than lone mothers.

Children’s levels of contact with non-resident fathers are closely related to background characteristics such as socio-economic status, and life course decisions such a remarriage and the time since parental separation. The proportion of fathers taking paternity leave exclusively was 50 per cent, and a further 30 per cent incorporate additional leave entitlement in 2006. ^{(Hunt, 2009)[33]}

“It is becoming increasingly evident that the expectations that fathers have of the way and amount they are involved directly with their children is altering. Fathers want to spend more time with their children, and are doing more of the direct care for them.” ^{(School, 2010)[34]}

British fathers now undertake approximately nearly half of all childcare; According to a 2007 EOC study, mothers recorded an average of 2 hours 32 minutes per day looking after their own children, compared with 2 hours 16 minutes by fathers. ^{(EOC, 2007)[35]}

 

“Most children hate the loss of contact with their fathers and often experience substantial distress, anger or self-doubt as a result.”^{[36 (Layard R. D.)]}

• Citations:
• Layard, R. and Dunn,J.; A Good Childhood: Searching for Values in a Competitive Age 2009
• Lewis.C; A man’s place in the home: Fathers and families in the UK 2000 (JRF)
• Commision for Equal Opportunities; Completing the Revolution: The Leading Indicators 2007
• Gable, S., Crnic, K., & Belsky, J.; Coparenting within the family system: Influences on children’s development. Family Relations, 43(4), 380-386 2007
• Pleck J.H.; Working Wives and Family Well-Being 1984
• Burghes, L., Clarke, L. & Cronin,N. ; Fathers and Fatherhood in Britain 1997 (JRF)
• Amato P.; ‘More than money?: Men’s contributions to their children’s lives’ 1998
• Pruett K.; Father need: Why Father Care is as Essential as Mother Care for Your Child 2000
• Lamb M.E.; The development of father-infant relationships, in Lamb (ed.), The Role of the Father 1997
• Lamb M.; Role of the Father, pp. 1 – 63;, Father-Infant and Mother-Infant Interaction in the First Year of Life, 1977
• De Wolff, M. & van IJzendoorn, M.; Sensitivity and attachment: A meta-analysis on parental antecedents of infant attachment 1997
• Bronstein P.; ‘Difference in mothers’ and fathers’ behaviors toward children: A cross-cultural comparison’ 1984
• Lamb, M.E., Frodi, A.M., Hwang, C.P. & Frodi, M.; Varying degrees of paternal involvement in infant care: Attitudinal and behavioural correlates, in in Lamb, M.E. (ed.), Nontraditional Families: Parenting and Child Development 1982
• Nugent J.K.; Cultural and psychological influences on the father’s role in infant development, 1991
• Radin; Primary caregiving fathers in intact families, and The influence of fathers, Social Work in Education 1986 & 1994
• Biller; Fathers and Families 1993
• Clarke-Stewart; And Daddy Makes Three: The Father’s Impact on Mother and Young Child 1978
• Pruett K.; Father need: Why Father Care is as Essential as Mother Care for Your Child 2000
• Parke R.D.; Fatherhood 1996
• Horn, W., & Sylvester, T.; The Relationship Between Family Structure and Adolescent Substance Abuse 2002
• Department for Education and Skills,; The Impact of Parental Involvement in Children’s Education, 2002
• Clarke-Stewart; And Daddy Makes Three: The Father’s Impact on Mother and Young Child 1978
• Amato P.; ‘Marital conflict, the parent-child relationship, and child self-esteem’ 1986
• Radin; ‘Primary caregiving fathers; The influence of fathers 1986 & 1994
• Nugent; Cultural and psychological influences 1991
• Carol W. Metzler, et al. The Social Context for Risky Sexual Behavior Among Adolescents 1994
• Sweeting, H., West, P., and Richards, M.,; Teenage family life, lifestyles and life chances:Associations with family structure, conflict with parents and joint family activity 1998
• Catherine McLoughlin, et al., 2006
• Catan, L., Dennison, C. & Coleman, J.; Getting Through: Effective Communication in the Teenage Years 1997
• Lieberman, M., Doyle, A.B. & Markiewica, D.; Developmental patterns in security of attachment to mother and father in late childhood and early adolescence: Associations with peer relations 1999
• Patton, G. C., Coffey, C., Posterino, M., Carlin, J. B., Wolfe; Adolescent Depressive Disorder: a Population-Based Study of ICD-10 Symptoms, 2001
• Flouri E.; Fathering and Child Outcomes 2005
• Sarkadi et el.; Fathers’ involvement and children’s developmental outcomes: a systematic review of longitudinal studies 2008
• Hunt Stephan A.; Fathers’ Involvement in Family Life, 2009
• School, Working Families and Lancaster University Management; Work Life Balance – Working for fathers? 2010
• EOC; Completing the Revolution: The Leading Indicators 2007
• Layard R, Dunn J.; A Good Childhood: Searching for Values in a Competitive Age